Self sabotage is something we do to ourselves when we feel we don't deserve good things to happen to or for us. There is no logical explanation for why we don't or won't allow such things to happen. This is not for lack of desire for good things, rather, it's like a tug of war we play with ourselves inside between us wanting something good and not feeling worthy of it. Frequently using the word should is an excellent indication that one may be experiencing self sabotaging behaviors.

If there is no real reason for one to not experience good things, then self sabotage is present.

Self sabotage can be a minor thing- a phase- or it can become so serious that it limits or completely destroys one's ability or desire to live the happy and fulfilling life we are all entitled to the moment we are born.

Unfortunately, circumstances in life can severely alter our self-image to the point where we feel trapped in a never-ending cycle of unhappiness and lack of self esteem and self worth.

Here are some symptoms of self sabotage- I've used the 15 most common symptoms that I see both in my own self and predominately in others, most of which are done sub-consciously:

Procrastination

Destroying good or working relationships

Dissatisfaction with home life, career, relationships and life in general

Inability to control anger

Seeking out or staying in abusive relationships

Always putting one's self down, self doubt, belittlement of self ("I'm not worth their time" or- "They shouldn't be doing this for me because I don't deserve it". or- "I'm just in the way!".)

Trust issues

Depression

Inability to finish what is started

Always having to have a "crisis" in life to feel purpose, or needing drama to feel fulfilled

Addictive behavior- broad spectrum

What do others think of me? Or- How do others see me?

Weight loss with equal or more gain afterwards

Worrying excessively

Jeopardizing what is already good or working in life such as relationships, jobs, etc.

How to change:

First and foremost, one needs to be completely and sincerely honest with their self. To not be is also a form of self sabotage because one cannot address their issues if one continues to run and hide from what is holding them back!

How much are you willing to do to work on yourself?

What are your goals?

Find out what you want, name your goals, make a plan to achieve those goals and then work hard to stick to those goals.

AFFIRM AFFIRM AFFIRM!!! Affirmations sound silly and corny but they're actually an excellent way to undo one's past way of believing they are not "worthy". How? Simply state the good things about yourself- daily and frequently.

All people are born worthy and good. Some people throughout their lives are told they are not good, they're not worth it, they're useless and the etc. In time, they believe it.

Undo that damage. You believed those people- or yourself- when they told you those things, right? It's time to believe yourself when you are affirming the good things about yourself.

Each day, find five good things about yourself. Make a list, and make that list your personal bible. Carry it with you everywhere. State those affirmations. Add to the list constantly, without erasing the past affirmations.

In time, provided you were honest with yourself, you will begin to believe that yes! you are a good and worthy person who is deserving of happiness and success!

Everyone has good- even people who are seemingly evil. How we choose to use our gifts is up to us.

And remember! Honesty to self is an all important first step. Yes, the truth hurts. The truth really does set us free from what is holding us back, and what usually holds us back is ourselves.

Break free from the binds of your past.

And remember too- as someone once said:

The best revenge is to live well